🎵 “The Weekend” – EOA & The Thoughts About Companionship We Don’t Say Out Loud(SZA)
- jessica97150
- Aug 9
- 3 min read
💔 THE PARTNERSHIP CHANGES LONG BEFORE THE PERSON IS GONE
That’s the reality people outside this disease don’t understand.
You may still be:
👉 Married
But no longer have:
Emotional intimacy
Intellectual connection
Physical affection
Partnership
🧠 THE LONELINESS IS HARD TO EXPLAIN
Because technically:
👉 You aren’t alone
But emotionally and intellectually?
👉 You absolutely are sometimes
💭 THE THOUGHTS START SHOWING UP
At some point many caregivers quietly begin wondering:
👉 Will I ever feel desired again?
👉 Will someone ever take care of ME again?
👉 Will I ever laugh and flirt and feel butterflies again?
👉 Am I even allowed to think about this?
And immediately after?
👉 Guilt
⚠️ LET’S BE HONEST
There are:
Facebook groups
Reddit threads
Apps
Entire communities
Focused around:
👉 Caregiver loneliness
👉 Companionship
👉 Emotional connection during caregiving
Because this is WAY more common than people admit.
💔 THIS ISN’T ALWAYS ABOUT SEX
Honestly?
Most caregivers I talk to seem to miss:
👉 Adult conversation with topics, educated debates, humor and wit
👉 Being seen
👉 Feeling emotionally safe
👉 Being cared for
👉 Being wanted
👉 Being touched affectionately
More than anything else.
🧠 THE WEIRD PLACE CAREGIVERS LIVE IN
You can:
Deeply love your spouse
Care for them faithfully
Stay fully committed
AND STILL:
👉 Feel emotionally starved
Those things can exist together.
💭 THE FUTURE STARTS CROSSING YOUR MIND
Maybe you don’t want:
👉 Another Husband/Wife
👉 Another marriage
👉 Another person to fully care for
But maybe…
👉 You also don’t want the rest of your life to feel emotionally empty either
And that thought alone:
👉 Can make caregivers feel incredibly guilty
💡 WHERE I AM PERSONALLY
I haven't explored that yet in a physical way, but I am dying for an emotional connection somewhere. I miss talking about my work day, funny conversations, two way banter, calling out trivia answers....
But I’ve read.
I’ve listened.
I’ve seen the conversations.
And strangely?
👉 It gives me hope
Not because I’m trying to replace anyone.
But because:
👉 My life isn’t over yet either
💛 WHAT CAREGIVERS NEED TO HEAR
Missing:
Intimacy
Touch
Connection
Companionship
Does NOT mean:
❌ You stopped loving your spouse
❌ You abandoned them emotionally
It means:👉 You are still human
🧠 THIS DISEASE CREATES “LIVING GRIEF”
And with that comes:
Isolation
Emotional deprivation
Identity loss
Humans are not built to:
👉 Carry all of that alone forever
⚖️ THE INTERNAL BATTLE
One side says:
👉 “How could you even think about this?”
The other says:
👉 “I don’t want to disappear too.”
And honestly?
👉 Both sides are real
💭 THE HARD TRUTH
Some caregivers stay:
Emotionally closed forever
Others:
Seek friendship
Companionship
Connection
Eventually love again
There is no universal right answer.
💡 WHAT MATTERS MOST
Not secrecy.
Not shame.
Not judgment.
But:
👉 Honesty with yourself
👉 Safety
👉 Respect
👉 Emotional health
🎵 Why “The Weekend”
Because this song captures that strange emotional space of:
👉 Wanting connection
👉 Wanting more
👉 Wanting something that belongs to YOU again
💭 Final Thought
You are allowed:
To miss intimacy
To miss affection
To wonder about your future
To hope for joy again someday
Even while still loving the person you’re caring for.
Those things can exist together.
💬 Disclaimer
I’m not a doctor, lawyer, therapist, or expert—just a wife trying to figure this out one day at a time. Everything shared here is based on our experience and things that have helped us along the way. Take what helps, leave what doesn’t, and always check with professionals when needed. I also use AI to help clean up my writing, organize thoughts, and pull together resources because honestly… caregiver brains are tired too. If something here helps another family feel less alone, then it’s worth sharing.
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