🎵"Money" Pink Floyd- EOA hunt, where is our money-
💰 Where Is the Money?
.
You were still building your life.
Then suddenly you're asking questions like:
What accounts do we have?
Where is our retirement money?
What insurance policies exist?
What bills are on autopay?
What happens if my spouse can no longer sign documents?
What money can I legally access?
What requires their signature?
Will a Power of Attorney be enough?
How do I make sure we can pay for care and still survive financially?
Honestly?
For many families, this becomes a scavenger hunt.
And some of us have it harder than others.
If your spouse has always managed the finances, paid the bills, handled investments, or simply knew where everything was, you need to start learning NOW while they can still answer questions.
Because one day they may not be able to.
And by then, finding:
The 401(k)
The 403(b)
The IRA
The pension
The life insurance policy
The savings account
The online passwords
Can become much more difficult.
🚨 The Hard Truth
A diagnosis does NOT automatically give you access to your spouse's finances.
Being married does not automatically mean:
You can withdraw retirement funds
Change beneficiaries
Manage investments
Access certain accounts
Sign paperwork on their behalf
Every financial institution has its own rules.
Some will honor a Durable Financial Power of Attorney.
Some require additional forms.
Some retirement plans have their own authorization requirements.
And if no proper documents are in place before your spouse loses decision-making capacity, you may find yourself dealing with attorneys, court filings, guardianship, or conservatorship proceedings just to access money that was intended to support your family.
🧠 What I Would Do Immediately After Diagnosis
Make a complete list of every account.
Verify beneficiaries on every account.
Confirm who owns each account.
Confirm who has access.
Gather passwords and login information.
Meet with an elder-law attorney.
Review your Durable Financial Power of Attorney.
Ask every retirement company if they require additional forms.
Create a secure financial inventory.
Start learning where the money is before you need it.
Because Alzheimer's is hard enough.
Trying to find the money needed to care for your spouse while simultaneously losing your spouse is a level of stress I wouldn't wish on anyone.
The earlier you understand your finances, the more options you'll have later.
🏦 401(k)
The most common employer-sponsored retirement plan in private industry.
Typically offered by:
Corporations
Private companies
Large employers
Funded through payroll deductions.
🏫 403(b)
Usually offered by:
Schools
Universities
Hospitals
Nonprofits
Churches
Very similar to a 401(k).
🏛️ 457(b)
Often offered to:
Government employees
Municipal workers
State employees
First responders
Can have unique withdrawal rules.
👮 Pension Plans
A monthly retirement benefit paid for life.
Common among:
Teachers
Government employees
Union workers
Military personnel
Older corporate employees
Questions to ask:
Survivor benefit?
Spousal benefit?
Beneficiary?
Lump sum option?
US Military Retirement
May include:
Military pension
VA benefits
Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP)
Important to review early.
💰 Traditional IRA
Individual Retirement Account.
Money grows tax deferred until withdrawal.
Often found at:
Fidelity
Vanguard
Schwab
Merrill
Edward Jones
💵 Roth IRA
Money goes in after taxes.
Qualified withdrawals are generally tax free.
These can be extremely valuable later.
📈 Brokerage Accounts
Not technically retirement accounts, but often used as retirement savings.
Examples:
Individual investment accounts
Joint investment accounts
May contain:
Stocks
ETFs
Mutual funds
🏠 Annuities
Often purchased through:
Insurance companies
Financial advisors
Can provide:
Lifetime income
Death benefits
Some have surrender penalties.
💼 Deferred Compensation Plans
Often available to:
Executives
Government workers
Higher-income employees
Can be substantial.
👨⚕️ SEP IRA
Common for:
Self-employed individuals
Small business owners
May contain significant assets.
👩💼 SIMPLE IRA
Used by many small businesses.
Similar to a 401(k) but simpler.
🏦 Health Savings Account (HSA)
Not technically retirement.
BUT many people accumulate large balances.
Can be used tax-free for qualified medical expenses.
Very valuable for Alzheimer's-related healthcare costs.
🏡 Cash Value Life Insurance
Many caregivers forget these.
Could include:
Whole Life
Universal Life
Variable Life
May have:
Cash value
Loan options
Death benefits
🧠 What Caregivers Need to Verify Immediately (I waited later and it was a pain)
For EVERY account:
✔️ Beneficiary listed?
✔️ Contingent beneficiary listed?
✔️ Current value known?
✔️ Online login available?
✔️ Institution known?
✔️ Durable POA accepted?
✔️ Survivor benefits understood?
✔️ Statements saved?
💔 The Alzheimer's Financial Reality
One of the saddest things I see in caregiver groups is:
👉 "I know my spouse had retirement accounts somewhere..."
But nobody knows:
Which company
Account numbers
Beneficiaries
Passwords
And now the spouse is no longer able to explain it.
📋 Caregiver Financial Inventory Checklist
Make a list of:
401(k)
403(b)
457
IRA
Roth IRA
Pension
Brokerage accounts
Annuities
HSA
Life insurance
Bank accounts
CDs
Savings bonds
Social Security
Long-term care insurance
Disability insurance
Veterans benefits
And keep:
Institution name
Account number
Beneficiaries
Contact phone number
Online access information in a secure location.
For EOA families, this may be one of the most important financial tasks to complete while your loved one can still answer questions and sign documents.
💬 Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor, lawyer, therapist, or expert—just a wife trying to figure this out one day at a time. Everything shared here is based on our experience and things that have helped us along the way. Take what helps, leave what doesn’t, and always check with professionals when needed. I also use AI to help clean up my writing, organize thoughts, and pull together resources because honestly… caregiver brains are tired too. If something here helps another family feel less alone, then it’s worth sharing.
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