🎵 “What About Us” – The Part No One Talks About (P!nk)

jessica97150
Feb 27, 2025
3 min read

Updated: Apr 9

This might be the hardest part of the early stages.

Not the diagnosis.

Not the appointments.

Not even the unknown.

It’s this:

👉 What about us?

What about me?

And I’m going to say something out loud that a lot of people are afraid to admit:

It is okay to think that.

It is not selfish—it’s honest.

💭 This Is My First “Not New Diagnosis” Post

Because once you get past the shock…

The grief gets complicated.

The stages don’t line up.

They don’t come in order.

They don’t make sense.

And for me?

It feels isolating.

🧍‍♀️ The Loneliness

I feel alone.

Even though my husband is going through this too…

I don’t personally know anyone (I do now, not when it started and I orginally wrote) in my day-to-day life who is living this.

Yes, I’ve met people online.

Yes, I’ve learned from support groups.

But it’s not the same as

“Let’s grab lunch"

“Let’s talk in real life”

And that gap?

It’s heavy.

💔 The Thought That Won’t Go Away

The one that sits in the back of your mind:

What am I going to do with my life now?

It sounds selfish.

But it’s not.

It’s real.

💼 My Reality (and my awareness)

I know I’m fortunate.

I have a career
I have savings
I have stability

And I know many people are facing this with far less—and that is terrifying.

I also know this about myself:

👉 I could survive on my own

👉 I built a life before I got married

👉 I was independent

So why does this hit so hard?

😡 Because It’s Not About Being Alone

It’s about losing:

👉 My best friend👉 My partner👉 The person I thought I’d grow old with

And yes…

👉 It makes me angry.

We had plans.

Travel
Buy an RV
See the parks
Do the “someday” things

And now?

👉 Someday is gone👉 It’s now—or it’s never

⚠️ And Even “Now” Isn’t Easy

Because here’s the part people don’t talk about:

👉 The anxiety.

They can function in their routine.

Their environment.

Their “muscle memory” world.

But the second you step outside of that?

Everything can unravel. (and will.....)

🎬 The Best Way I Can Explain It

I reference Rain Man a lot.

Remember Ray and:

“Judge Wapner at 7pm”

That hyper-focus?

That need for routine?

👉 I see it every day.

And sometimes…

It’s easier to just say:

👉 “Okay.”

🧠 You Can’t Reason With This

This was one of the hardest lessons.

👉 You cannot logic your way through this

👉 You cannot “talk it out”

👉 You cannot fix it in the moment

And that messes with you.

Because some days?

👉 They seem completely normal

And then suddenly…

👉 “Judge Judy at 9pm” kicks in

And everything shifts

We’ve turned around and gone home more times than I can count.

🪞 The New Definition of “Us”

There is still an “us.”

But it’s different.

👉 We are still connected legally

👉 We are still together

But now…

I am also the caregiver

And that changes everything.

🐦 The Truth I Joke About (but it’s not really a joke)

I say I’m an empty nester…

But I’m not.

👉 I have a new bird to take care of

And he tests:

My patience
My love
My strength
My blood pressure

Every single day.

And he doesn’t even know it.

💔 What I Miss

This is the part that hurts the most:

Intelligent conversations
Being a Passenger Princess
Laughing at inside jokes
Watching a movie and actually following the plot
Being able to just… go

Spontaneity is gone.

Ease is gone.

And that loss?

It’s real grief.

💡 Final Thought

You can love someone deeply…

And still ask:

“What about me?”

Both can exist.

Both are valid.

Both are part of this journey.

🎵 And This Song Says It Best…

“What about us?

What about all the times you said you had the answers?”

There may not be answers.

But there is truth.