"I feel like I'm Drowning" emotional detachment and other selfish thoughts

The song above is my mantra, I play it loud alone in my car, but if the rock sound is not you, you can do "what about me".

Daily life is going smoother 2 years past diagnosis, so if you are just jumping in the pool, you have a bright side. I can post some tips under "newly diagnosed" because routines are so important.

Drowning? some days I am. I am still impressed I have not had to take any anti depressants, I have had them after child birth and when I was in 20's. But I wanted to get through this on my own, my own way. I have to say I am impressed so far, especially with menopause. Would I be better with them? Probably yes, so if you think you need them, please go get something. I felt numb on them, and I wanted to emote.

Most days though? I feel joy and happiness because even though I am in this sucky club, I have so much to be thankful for. My kids, my health, my parents are alive and I talk to them almost every day. I have a great career and work friends and regular friends. My spouse is alive and healthy (except the grey matter) I am a "step" Mimi to my son's daughter, who is such a cool smart little girl. My own daughter brings me joy and I am loving watching her grow into a strong confident woman (or at least watching her pretend). I say pretend because i know she has depression because of all of this. She is worried about what she will miss in the future, the wedding give away, the "Pop-Pop" moments with her kids and him. She cannot see that this is it, and accept that she is in the sucky club and it cannot be controlled. She will figure it out, and embrace the now, and enjoy the days she has as they are.

So I am thankful we are not drowning in debt, or the unknown (we know what we got, and know how it progresses), we are healthy, and are trying to live every day as it comes to us.

"I feel like I'm Drowning" by Two Feet

"What about me" by Moving Pictures