🎵 “I Feel Like I’m Drowning” – But I’m Still Here (two feet)

This song… this one hits.

I play it loud.

Usually alone in my car.

Because sometimes, it just says exactly what I’m feeling.

If that sound isn’t your thing, maybe your version is:

“What about me?”

Either way—you know the feeling.

🌊 The Truth About “Drowning”

Some days… I am.

Not every day. But some days, it creeps in.

And if you’re here—you probably know exactly what I mean.

⏳ Three Years In

We are now three years past diagnosis now.

And oddly enough…daily life is smoother.

If you’re just jumping into this—

👉 there is a brighter side ahead

Not because it gets easier…but because you learn:

• The routines

• The rhythms

• The triggers

• The “new normal”

I’ll share more under a “Newly Diagnosed” section, because honestly?

👉 Routine is everything

💊 Let’s Talk About Mental Health (Mine)

I’m actually kind of surprised by myself.

I haven’t gone on antidepressants through this.

And that’s not because I’m against them.

I’ve taken them before:

• After childbirth

• In my 20s

But this time… I wanted to feel it.

All of it.

The good.

The bad.

The overwhelming.

I didn’t want to feel numb.

Now—would I be “better” on them?

👉 Probably, yes.

So let me say this clearly:

👉 If you think you need help—go get it.

There is zero shame in that.

This is hard.

Really hard.

☀️ Most Days… I’m Not Drowning

This is the part that might surprise people.

Most days?

👉 I feel joy.

👉 I feel gratitude.

👉 I feel… okay.

Because even in this “sucky club”…

I have so much.

❤️ What Keeps Me Grounded

• My kids

• My health

• My parents (we talk almost every day)

• My career

• My friends (work and real life)

And my husband…

👉 He is still here

👉 He is still physically healthy

👉 He is still him—just in a different way

And that matters.

👶 The Next Generation

I’m a “step Mimi” to my son’s daughter.

She’s smart. She’s funny. She’s just… cool.

And my daughter—

She brings me so much joy.

I’m watching her grow into a strong, confident woman.

(Or at least… watching her pretend to be one some days 💛)

Because the truth is…

👉 She’s hurting too.

💔 The Part We Don’t Talk About Enough

She worries about the future.

• The wedding

• Being walked down the aisle

• Her dad being “Pop-Pop” to her kids

She sees what she might lose.

And that’s a different kind of grief.

One that’s hard to explain.

🧠 What I Try to Teach Her (and myself)

You can’t control this.

You can’t fix it.

You can’t predict every moment.

At some point…

👉 You have to accept that you’re in the club

👉 And start living in the now

Not the “what if”

Not the “what’s coming”

But today.

💡 Where We Are Right Now

We are not drowning in:

• Debt

• Chaos

• The unknown

We know what we’re facing.

We understand how this progresses.

And we are:

👉 Healthy

👉 Grounded

👉 Taking it one day at a time

🎵 Final Thought

Some days feel like drowning.

But most days?

We’re still swimming.

Still laughing.

Still showing up.

Still finding moments that matter.

And for now…

That’s enough.

I’m not a medical professional—just sharing what we’ve experienced and learned along the way. Please talk to your doctor about what’s right for you.

"I feel like I'm Drowning" by Two Feet

"What about me" by Moving Pictures