🎵 “De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da” – What To Do Right Now (The Police)

Sometimes… there are too many words.

Too many opinions.

Too much information.

Too much overwhelm.

So let’s simplify this:

👉 What do you need to do RIGHT NOW?

⚠️ First Rule (did you say "of fight club?)

If your loved one is still capable of making decisions:

👉 Do this NOW. Not later. Not next month. NOW.

Because once capacity changes…

👉 These decisions get harder👉 More expensive👉 Or sometimes… impossible

⚖️ Legal Documents (Get These Done First)

You can:

• Use a lawyer

• Or use online services (I used one and canceled before the monthly fee kicked in)

✔️ Durable Power of Attorney (Financial)

• Covers financial/legal decisions

• Provide copies to:

  • Banks

  • Financial institutions

  • Doctors

✔️ Medical Power of Attorney

• Allows you to make healthcare decisions

• Give to ALL doctors

✔️ Advanced Directive (Living Will)

• Defines medical wishes if they cannot speak

• Provide to all providers

✔️ Authorization to Release Medical Records

• MUST be signed while they are still capable

• Give to every doctor’s office

👉 Also update:

• Doctor contact info → YOUR number

• Pharmacy contact info → YOUR number

✔️ Will

👉 This one usually requires an attorney

✔️ Compassionate Care / End-of-Life Wishes

These are incredibly helpful tools:

• https://www.compassionandchoices.org/living-and-dying-with-dementia

• https://www.compassionandchoices.org/resource/dementia-values-priorities-tool-(fillable-pdf)

👉 These help guide:

• Values

• Preferences

• End-of-life decisions

🖊️ Notary & Witnesses

• Most banks offer free notary services

• You will typically need:

  • 2 witnesses

  • Valid ID

📂 Document Organization (Do NOT skip this)

👉 Scan EVERYTHING

• Store on a thumb drive

• Make multiple copies

• Keep hard copies in a folder for appointments

👉 Think: grab-and-go file

🎥 Record the Hard Conversations

This one is personal—but powerful.

I’ve started:

👉 Recording conversations about wishes

Why?

Because later:

• Family may question decisions

• Emotions get high

• Memories get fuzzy

👉 This protects your loved one’s voice

🧠 Walk Through the Stages Together

Print your stages chart.

Then:

👉 Sit down together

👉 Go stage by stage

👉 Ask:

• “How do you feel about this?”

• “What would you want here?”

• “What matters most to you?”

👉 Take notes

👉 Or record it

This is one of the most important things you can do.

🏡 Plan for Care (Now, Not Later)

Start thinking about:

• In-home care

• Respite care

• Memory care

• Assisted living

• Hospice

👉 Not because you need it today👉 But because you WILL need a plan

💰 Insurance Check-Up

Go through your health insurance:

👉 What’s covered?

• In-home health

• Therapy

• Long-term care options

👉 Know this BEFORE you need it

💡 Final Thought

This part?

👉 Feels overwhelming

👉 Feels heavy

👉 Feels unfair

But doing this now…

👉 Protects your partner

👉 Protects you

👉 Protects your future

🎵 And Honestly… The Song Fits

“De do do do, de da da da…”

Sometimes the simplest words are the best:

👉 Just start

👉 Just do the next thing

👉 Don’t overthink it

💛 My Advice

You don’t have to do everything today.

But you do need to:

👉 Start today

Right_Now_Action_Checklist.docx

Download DOCX • 38KB

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Remember I am not a lawyer and am not giving legal advice, i am telling you what I did. I’m not a medical professional—just sharing what we’ve experienced and learned along the way. Please talk to your doctor about what’s right for you.

"Dee Do Do" by The Police