🎵 “Little Lies” – The Ones That Protect(Fleetwood Mac)
- jessica97150
- 2 days ago
- 2 min read
Let’s talk about something uncomfortable…
👉 The “white lies”
The ones you swore you would never tell.
The ones that feel:
Wrong
Dishonest
Not like you
And yet…
👉 You find yourself using them anyway
💬 Disclaimer
I’m not a doctor or therapist—just a caregiver sharing real-life experience. This is not medical or ethical advice. Every situation is different. You have to do what feels right for you and your loved one.
🧠 First – Let’s Reframe This
These are not lies to:
❌ Manipulate
❌ Control
❌ Deceive for personal gain
These are lies to:
👉 Reduce anxiety
👉 Prevent distress
👉 Keep things calm and safe
⚠️ Why “Truth” Doesn’t Always Work Anymore
In a normal relationship:
👉 Truth = respect
In Alzheimer’s:
👉 Truth can = trauma
Because they may:
Not understand it
Not remember it
Relive it over and over
💔 The Hard Example
You tell them:
👉 “Your dad passed away”
They react:
Shock
Grief
Confusion
Then…
👉 10 minutes later they ask again
Now what?
👉 Do you make them grieve over and over?
💡 This Is Where White Lies Come In
Instead of repeating trauma…
You might say:
👉 “He’s resting”
👉 “He’s being taken care of”
🧠 Why This Is Actually KINDNESS
Because the goal is no longer:
👉 Accuracy
The goal is:
👉 Emotional safety
😵 The Internal Struggle (For YOU)
Let’s be honest…
You’ll feel:
Guilty
Wrong
Like you’re betraying them
👉 That’s normal
Because you still think in a “healthy brain” mindset
💡 The Shift
You’re not lying to the person they were
👉 You’re adapting to the brain they have now
🎯 REAL-LIFE WHITE LIES (That Protect)
🚗 Driving
👉 “The car’s in the shop”
👉 “Insurance wants us to do this differently now”
Instead of:
❌ “You can’t drive anymore”
💊 Medications
👉 “Doctor wants us both taking these”
👉 “These will help you feel better”
Instead of:
❌ “You forgot again”
🏡 Leaving the House
👉 “We’ll go later”
👉 “It’s closed right now”
Instead of:
❌ “You can’t go”
👨👩👧👦 People Who Have Passed
👉 “They’re not here right now”
👉 “They’re being taken care of”
Instead of repeated grief cycles
💰 Finances
👉 “I’ve got it handled”
👉 “Everything’s taken care of”
Instead of:
❌ “You’re not capable of managing this”
⚖️ WHEN WHITE LIES ARE OKAY
Ask yourself:
👉 Does this reduce stress?
👉 Does this prevent harm?
👉 Does this keep things calm?
If yes…
👉 It’s not harmful—it’s protective
🚫 WHEN TO BE CAREFUL
Don’t use them to:
❌ Avoid important medical decisions
❌ Hide critical safety issues
❌ Dismiss real needs
💛 THE BIG TRUTH
This isn’t about honesty anymore.
👉 It’s about compassion
🎵 Why This Song Fits
“Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies…”
Because sometimes…
👉 The gentle version of the truth is the kindest one
💭 Final Thought
You are not:
👉 A liar
You are:
👉 A protector
👉 A stabilizer
👉 The one keeping the world from falling apart for them
💬 Disclaimer (Bottom)
I’m not a medical or mental health professional—just sharing what has worked in our experience. Every situation is different. Use your judgment and consult professionals when needed.
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