🎵 “Control” –EOA Giving up control (Reframing) (Janet Jackson)
- jessica97150
- May 18
- 3 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
Because let’s be honest…
👉 If you try to take control the “normal” way…
👉 You’re getting a fight
And in this EOA world?
👉 You don’t win fights with logic
đź’¬ Disclaimer
I’m not a doctor or therapist—just a caregiver sharing what works in real life. This is not medical advice. Use what fits your situation and leave what doesn’t.
🧠FIRST – SHIFT YOUR MINDSET
You are not:
❌ Asking permission
❌ Debating decisions
❌ Trying to convince
You are:
👉 Managing the environment
👉 Protecting safety
👉 Guiding without triggering
⚠️ WHY FIGHTS HAPPEN
They feel:
Controlled
Embarrassed
Confused
Threatened
So they push back.
👉 Even when you’re right
đź’ˇ THE GOLDEN RULE
👉 If it feels like a debate… you already lost
🎯 CORE TACTICS
(THIS IS YOUR TOOLKIT)
✔️ 1. THE “WE” APPROACH
Make everything shared.
❌ “You need to stop driving”
✔️ “We’re going to start doing errands together”
👉 No blame. No spotlight.
✔️ 2. THE SOFT PIVOT
Don’t say no—redirect.
❌ “No, don’t do that”
✔️ “Hey, can you help me with this instead?”
👉 Give them a new lane
✔️ 3. THE LIMITED CHOICE
Control the options.
❌ “What do you want to do?”
✔️ “Do you want to go now or after lunch?”
👉 Both answers work for you
✔️ 4. THE “MAKE IT EASY” STRATEGY
Frame help as convenience.
❌ “You can’t handle this”
✔️ “I’ve got it—it’ll be quicker this way”
👉 Removes ego threat
✔️ 5. THE DISTRACT & DELAY
This one is GOLD.
❌ “No, you’re not driving”
✔️ “Let’s do that later—come sit with me for a minute”
👉 Most urges pass
✔️ 6. BLAME THE SYSTEM (Not Them)
Take yourself out of it.
❌ “I don’t want you to do that”
✔️ “They changed the rules”
✔️ “Doctor wants us to do it this way”
👉 You’re no longer the “bad guy”
✔️ 7. THE “ALREADY DONE” MOVE
Act like it’s handled.
❌ “We need to cancel that”
✔️ “I took care of that already”
👉 Confidence reduces pushback
đź—Ł REAL-LIFE SCRIPTS
(USE THESE)
đźš— DRIVING
❌ “You can’t drive anymore”
✔️ “Let’s just ride together—it’s easier”
✔️ “Car’s acting up, I’ll drive today”
đź’Š MEDICATION
❌ “You forgot your meds again”
✔️ “Hey, let’s take these together real quick”
đź’° FINANCES
❌ “You’re messing things up”
✔️ “I’m organizing everything—it’ll just be easier if I handle it”
🏡 DAILY TASKS
❌ “That’s not right”
✔️ “Let me jump in with you—we’ll knock it out faster”
PLANS
❌ “We’re not doing that”
✔️ “We’re doing this instead—it’ll be better”
⚠️ WHAT TO EXPECT
Even when you do this right:
👉 There will still be pushback sometimes
That’s normal.
đź’› THE HARD TRUTH
You are:
Taking control
Making decisions for two people
Carrying the responsibility
👉 And doing it quietly
🎵 FINAL THOUGHT
Except now?
👉 It’s not about control
👉 It’s about protection
đź’¬ Disclaimer
I’m not a medical professional—just a caregiver sharing our personal journey with Early Onset Alzheimer’s. Every situation is different, so please use what works for your family and consult medical, legal, or mental health professionals when needed.
This blog combines my real-life experiences with research, shared caregiver insight, and AI-assisted editing to help organize information and make these difficult topics easier to read and navigate. We’re all just trying to survive and help each other through it.
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