🎵 “Video killed the Radio Star” EOA caregivers and the not so hard things (The Buggles)
I'm just here today to tell you something.
You can do hard things.
And I don't necessarily mean the big emotional Alzheimer's things.
We already know we're doing those.
I'm talking about the random shit you never thought you'd have to learn because, if you're a 55-year-old Gen X woman like me and there were probably certain things in your house that you classified as:
Guy jobs.
There. I said it.
😂
Fixing things.
Messing with the lawn equipment.
Figuring out what's wrong with the garage door.
Bike repairs.
Anything involving a tool I don't recognize.
Whatever.
Not because I couldn't do them.
Because I had a guy who did them.
Until I didn't.
🚲 Today It Was a Bike
I'm working from home today.
I'm dressed for work- yes I dress up still, I am on camera in meetings, i do hair and makeup even.
I've just gotten off a call with a large European automotive company who goes on camera in meetings.
Professional Jessica.
Corporate Jessica.
I hang up the call...
And outside is my husband with his broken bike.
Of course.
So I went outside in my dress clothes, rolled up the sleeves of my dress shirt and looked at this bike like:
Okay. Apparently we're doing this now.
The chain had come off.
I have never in my life put a chain back on a bike.
Never.
I probably put air in the tires of my old-school bike when I was a kid.
Maybe.
But that's about where my bicycle mechanic résumé ends.
But before I went outside...
I watched a video.
📱 Welcome to My New Motto: GFGI
This has become one of my philosophies since Alzheimer's entered our lives.
If I don't know how to do something:
GFGI.
GO Fin Google It (my mom even says it now) I think she say GTS(google that shit).
😂
Before I decide:
I can't do that.
I GFGI.
How do I put a bike chain back on?
GFGI.
How does this valve work?
GFGI.
How do I fix this?
GFGI.
Because the internet has produced plenty of questionable things...
but it has also produced a video of some random guy who will patiently show me exactly
how to put a chain back on a bicycle- you just push the thingy at the bottom (derailer) and when the chain gets laxed, you pull it back to the spocket things with a pointy object- i used a screw driver and my fingers.
Thank you, Random Internet Bike Guy.
🚲 I FIXED THE FREAKING BIKE
That's the best part.
I DID IT.
Chain back on.
Bike working.
Hands filthy.
Dress clothes questionable.
But the bike?
Fixed.
And Rob was so happy.
That's the part that got me.
Because this wasn't some major accomplishment in the grand scheme of life.
I didn't cure Alzheimer's.
I put a chain back on a bike.
But biking is something he can still do and enjoys doing.
His bike was broken.
He couldn't fix it.
So I did.
And for a minute, I felt pretty damn proud of myself. Until he asked if I can check his tires....
🔧What the Hell Is a Schrader Valve?
I needed to deal with the tires.
Apparently there are different kinds of bicycle tire valves.
Did you know this?
Because I did not.
Schrader valve?
What the hell is that?
I thought you put the air thingy on the tire thingy and air went in.
Apparently we've advanced.
😂
So now I'm dirty.
I'm still wearing work clothes.
I'm screwing around with a bike I've never worked on before.
And I'm a little scared I'm going to make it worse, but it all worked out and I was successful and i had the schrader attachment needed.
💜 We're Learning Jobs We Never Applied For
That's another weird part of having a spouse with Early Onset Alzheimer's.
You don't just become the caregiver.
You slowly become...
The appointment person.
The medication person.
The finance person.
The technology person.
The paperwork person.
The safety person.
The decision person.
And apparently now...
the bike mechanic.
I also installed a Bidet and a new toilet seat this week and got the gas blower working (with Gas/Oil stuff in a can, so there look at me go!
There are things Rob used to handle that are becoming mine.
Some are important.
Some are annoying.
Some I don't even know how to do yet.
And occasionally I look at something and my first thought is:
I can't do that.
I'm trying to change that sentence.
Now it's:
I don't know how to do that YET.
There's a difference.
🔨 You Don't Have to Know How
That's what I want another woman or man reading this to hear.
Maybe your hard thing isn't a bike.
Maybe it's figuring out the lawn mower or blower.
Maybe it's changing an air filter.
Maybe it's dealing with the pool.
Maybe it's resetting the Wi-Fi.
Maybe it's talking to the mechanic when your husband always handled the cars.
Maybe it's taxes.
Maybe it's insurance.
Maybe it's fixing the toilet.
Maybe it's figuring out which breaker controls what.
Maybe it's something you've spent 30 years saying:
“Ask my spouse.”
And suddenly...
you can't.
That part can feel incredibly lonely.
But not knowing how to do something doesn't mean you can't do it.
It just means you've never had to learn it before.
🛠️ GFGI FIRST and watch You Tube Videos---
So here's my new rule.
Before I panic:
GFGI.
Watch the video.
Read the directions.
Look up the model number.
Take pictures before you take anything apart.
Give it a shot if it's something you can safely attempt.
And if the video starts with:
“First, shut off the main electrical service...”
Nope.
😂
That's when we move directly to Plan B.
🏡 FIND YOUR HANDY NEIGHBOR
Because being capable doesn't mean being stupid.
There are absolutely things I'm not touching.
Electrical?
Probably calling somebody.
Major plumbing?
Calling somebody.
Something that can explode?
Definitely calling somebody.
Roof?
Hard pass.
Know your limits.
GFGI might teach you how to do it.
It might also teach you:
Jessica, you need a professional.
That's useful information too.
And if it's somewhere in between?
Find yourself a handy neighbor.
Everybody needs one.
❤️ The Bigger Lesson Wasn't the Bike
I stood there today with dirty hands, rolled-up sleeves and my work clothes on and thought:
Look at me.
I actually did it.
And I think that's what caregiving keeps teaching me.
I can do things I never wanted to learn how to do.
I can handle things I assumed someone else would always handle.
I can be scared of something and still try it.
And I don't have to know how to do everything before I start.
Sometimes I just need somebody on YouTube who does.
💜 LADIES (and gentleman)
YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS
There are going to be things ahead of us that are much harder than putting a chain back on a bike.
I know that.
But today?
I'm not thinking about those.
Today I'm celebrating a little victory.
I fixed my husband's bike.
He was happy.
I was filthy.
And then I went back inside and got on my next work call.
Because apparently that's who I am now.
Corporate automotive professional.
Wife.
Caregiver.
And...
part-time bicycle mechanic.
Who knew?
So the next time something breaks and your first thought is:
I have no idea how to do this.
Remember:
You don't have to know.
GFGI.
Try.
And if that doesn't work?
Go find the handy neighbor.
😂
💬 Disclaimer:
Keep in mind, I am writing this blog over years, not in one day- I repeat some things, but because it became more applicable today. I’m not a doctor, lawyer, therapist, or expert—just a wife trying to figure this out one day at a time. Everything shared here is based on our experience and things that have helped us along the way. Take what helps, leave what doesn’t, and always check with professionals when needed. I also use AI to help clean up my writing, organize thoughts, and pull together resources because honestly… caregiver brains are tired too. If something here helps another family feel less alone, then it’s worth sharing.
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